Recently, okay – just now actually, I walked into the toilet barefoot. This procedure was extremely unwise as you shouldn’t go anywhere barefoot, especially the bathroom where the floor is laden with germs, spray from the flush and bits of shredded toilet paper that obviously are the outcome of having nothing else to do during a very boring and long poo.
The light in the downstairs bathroom is notorious for not working – at all – meaning that when there is no light outside from the glorious light bulb floating in the sky to be emitted through the tiny window in the room, you have to pee in pitch darkness, which I think of as an exciting challenge that cheers up the long wait every now and then in a mans life when the bladder has to be drained.
However, having been peeing day in, day out, for 13 years (14 on the 9th June!) I think that by now I have kind of got the grasp of aiming. Infact I am such a pro at aiming I can do it backwards, through my legs, upside down and with my eyes closed. This ‘skill’ has been mastered to perfection in this pitch black toilet chamber for as long as I can remember and now I can complete the challenge without fail. My brother, however, is a different story.
Having walked into the room just now, barefoot, I stepped in a massive puddle. Being too dark outside the window, and having no light in the toilet for me to see, I had to assume that it was just from the sink overflowing or something – I mean come on, who misses the bowl completely?! It has to be ordinary water!
Through the dim and dreary room I could make out that the seat and lid were both down covering the toilet bowl. Fine – some decent person had decided to do the world a favour and close the lid after deficating. This was really necessary, I thought not. Grunting with all the strenuous effort, I reached down to lift up the seat which had stupidly been placed down, and my hand came to rest on it. My hand came to rest on the seat… which was drenched in pee. My stupid brother had pissed with the seat down! Oh my! Grasping around for the roll of toilet paper to wipe my hands I realised that the toilet paper roll was on the floor. Bending down to pick it up my hand seemed to find its way into yet another puddle of pee. Great.
Running out of the room like a madman covered in pee (which is exactly what I was at that time) I scrambled upstairs to the bathroom that actually has a working light, leaving wet footprints in the carpet behind me on the way. Reaching the top bathroom, i twisted on the shower tap and jumped in, pouring a whole pot of soap over my head, hands and feet.
I’m sure my stupid little brother will learn sometime, but he is just one of hundreds of men who can’t aim! In all types of public toilets (cinema toilets, café toilets, etc…) there is evidence of pee stains on the floor and wall around the GIGANTIC drainage system that you can easily guide the pee into. Come on people, are you kidding me?
Learn to aim
Sincerely
Me
Life According To A Teenager 
Andrea wilkerson
June 2, 2012
Ok! Now I really am going to bed!! I hope! Been staying up half the night giggling and laughing at ur posts – read them all now! Good night LATATLers!! (yes we have our own category – Life According To A Teenager Lover’s – us teens who can relate to ur posts! Night guys! :P)
starrkatt
June 2, 2012
Haha! This is sadly true. We only have one man (my father) in the house, but he usually acts and eats for two.
R-M-R
June 2, 2012
Yeah – unfortunately! Oh wow